Doula support is not just for the birthing person. Doula support is actually for your entire family including the birthing person’s partner. Partner doula support is a major aspect of my work as a birth doula; I love watching partners get involved in the process. Here are just some of the many ways a doula can help support partners and other family members during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.
Partner Doula Support: What It Looks Like Prenatally
Partner doula support begins prenatally. This usually starts with early decision-making regarding a birth provider and other members of your birth team. Hiring a doula during this time is a great way to work through your decisions with your partner, as sometimes you have differing views on these choices. Your doula can help offer resources and information to support you in your search for the right birth provider, birthing location, and birth team. Your birth doula helps support partners in processing these decisions as well as asking the right questions.
Furthermore, partner doula support prenatally takes part majorly in prenatal meetings. As a birth doula, I conduct two to three prenatal meetings with families. In these, we discuss their desires for their birth, comfort measures and pain management techniques, the birthing process, and processing birth fears among other things. Each prenatal meeting is structured to cover a wide range of topics to prepare both the partner and birthing person for their birth.
Furthermore, it's a great time to work hands-on with partners teaching ways they can help alleviate pain for their partner during labor. Practicing these comfort techniques, counter pressures, and other methods prenatally can help both individuals feel prepared and connected in the birth space.
Things We Can Do In Labor to Support Partners & Family
Educational/Resources
In labor, we continue to be a source of information and educational resources for our clients. This allows them to discuss any intervention or procedures before making a decision using informed decision-making between them and their provider. Doulas can support partners as well as the birthing person through this information process. Our job is to give evidence-based information that is relevant to their needs in the birth space.
Help With Positioning and Supporting Their Partner
During labor, the doula also draws from things practiced in prenatal meetings. Partner doula support often involves helping partners position their loved ones and better support them in the birth space. New fathers can sometimes feel overwhelmed once they are in the physical birth space and remembering these methods can be hard. A quick refresher and some hands-on demonstrations from the doula can help. Doulas and partners can also take turns and swap out different methods or work together to support the birthing person.
Give Them a Reprise
Doulas are also there to give family time to rest. Birth is a literal marathon so dads need rest to be better prepared to support in the postpartum period. Partner doula support often looks like reminding partners to eat, drink, get some sleep when able, sit down, or even go home and feed the dog when things are in a lull.
Emotional Processing
Doulas are there to help all parties involved in the birth process emotionally. Even when things are going relatively as desired, there are a ton of emotions circulating in the birth space. Processing those emotions, especially if things are traumatic or difficult, is critical. Often partners feel like they need to be this steadfast rock for the birthing person during labor. This can come at the cost of not handling their own emotions properly. Sometimes the doula can take them aside, and help them work through any fears, emotions, or negative feelings in the birth space.
Encourage Advocacy
In the birth space doulas can be an advocate for everyone present. However, we do not speak directly for our clients. Instead, we fill this role by encouraging clients to always ensure informed consent from their providers before making a decision. Partners can speak up for the birthing person, although a provider will also need consent from them. So, as a birth doula, we work to create this space for patient’s self-advocacy and partner advocacy in the birth space.
The Postpartum Period & Partner Doula Support
In the postpartum period, partner doula support continues. Doulas support partners in the postpartum period with emotional processing of the birth experience, in learning to care and bond with the baby, and in continued educational resources. Our goal as a doula is to leave parents feeling well-supported and prepared for their postpartum period. Even birth doulas, who usually conduct one to two postpartum follow-ups can help partners during this time of great transition.
Postpartum doulas work with families for a longer period during this shift into new parenthood. In either case, a doula can help partners process their feelings about the birth experience . We also teach and model newborn care, get families connected with infant feeding support, and help both parents get adequate nutrition, hydration, and rest. Finally, our work never stops sharing information and educational resources to help our clients make informed choices regarding pediatric care, feeding support, and newborn care.
If you are interested in doula support for yourself or your partner, I am happy to connect with you. I love working with new families from all walks of life and being a witness to this incredible and transformative time in their lives. You can reach me on my website or via phone at 269-409-1269 to set up your free consultation for birth and/or postpartum doula services.
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