From Obedient Patient to Powerful Participant: Reclaiming Your Birth Experience

Let’s be real—too many people are walking away from their births feeling like things happened to them, not with them.

They’re told they have choices, but when it comes time to actually speak up... they freeze. And honestly? That’s not a personal failure—it’s the result of deep-rooted power imbalances in our medical system that are especially amplified in the birth room.

Today we’re diving into why those dynamics matter, what science and midwives have to say about it, and how you can shift from feeling like a passive patient to becoming a powerful, informed participant in your birth.

Trusting the System… Even When It Fails Us Your Birth Experience

Most of us were raised to trust doctors without question. White coats. Clipboards. Authority. There’s a psychological phenomenon called the "authority bias"—we tend to believe and obey people we perceive as experts, even when something feels off in our gut.

But this default trust can become problematic when the system’s design reinforces hierarchies.

In your birth experience, this can show up all the time: You're vulnerable, half-naked, maybe in pain, lying in a hospital bed—and someone with credentials is literally standing over you, giving instructions. That physical and psychological positioning reinforces one thing: you are not in control.

The Power of Positioning: It's Not Just About Comfort

In The Great Birth Rebellion podcast (Episode 143: “Declining Medical Recommendations”), Dr. Melanie Jackson breaks this down beautifully. She describes how most birth spaces are set up like a conveyor belt—efficient, systemized, and not really designed for autonomy.

When you're on the bed and they're standing above you, it's not just bad ergonomics—it's a literal visual of the power imbalance at play.

Even when a birthing person knows what they want, advocating while horizontal is a totally different ballgame. Your body posture sends a subconscious message: "You're in charge, and I'm here to be managed."

And let’s not forget how providers are trained. The system often teaches compliance, not collaboration. That’s why when you ask a question or decline a routine procedure, it can feel like you're breaking a rule—when really, you're just owning your rights.

The Research Says You're Not Imagining It

Studies back this up:

• One review found that hospital births often reinforce hierarchical, provider-centered care, where birthing people feel hesitant to question anything.

• Out-of-hospital births, especially those attended by midwives, were associated with greater autonomy, shared decision-making, and better emotional outcomes.

• Even doulas—who are literally there to support your voice—report feeling tension when hospital culture tries to override client choices.

This isn’t just about “feeling respected”—it’s about how your environment can shape your physiology, sense of safety, and ability to labor effectively.

So What Can You Do?

If you’re birthing in a hospital or medical setting, you don’t have to resign yourself to being a passive patient.

Here’s what real advocacy can look like:

✔️ Practicing scripts like “Can I have a moment to decide?” or “What are my other options?”

✔️ Choosing labor positions that allow you to stay upright, grounded, and physically empowered

✔️ Having a doula or support person there to gently redirect power back to you

✔️ Creating a visual birth plan that sets clear, confident expectations

These aren't just nice extras. They’re your tools to reclaim your voice in a space that can so easily take it away.

Ready to Get Loud, Clear, and Respected?

If you're reading this and thinking, "Yes—I want to feel confident and in control during my birth," then let’s go deeper.

🌿 Book a free consult with me—we’ll talk about your birth vision and how to advocate for it confidently, without apology.

🌿 Grab my free Birth Advocacy Toolkit—packed with communication scripts, planning tools, and grounding exercises to help you birth on your terms. I created this toolkit to help you advocate even with power imbalances and tension in the birth space.

Because you're not “just a patient.”

You're the expert on your body.

And you deserve to be treated that way.